*************** Comprehending Engineers - Take One  ***************

 Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
 said, "Where did you get that great titanium bike?"
 
 The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
 minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this
 bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her 
clothes and said, "Take what you want."
 
 "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
 clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
 
  ************* Comprehending Engineers - Take Two  *************
  
 To the optimist, the glass is half full.
 To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
 To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
  
 ************* Comprehending Engineers-Take Three  *************
 
 A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one 
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
 
 The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? 
We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
 
 The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but 
I've never seen such ineptitude!"
 
 The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
 word with him." [dramatic pause]
 
 "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? 
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
 
 The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
 firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from
 a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
 
 The group was silent for a moment.
 
 The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
 prayer for them tonight."
 
 The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
 ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything 
he can do for them."
 
 The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"